Patience.

One of my friends was recently interviewed for medical school.  We prepared a bit before he went, brainstorming the various questions that they may ask him.  And the classic question about one's strengths and weaknesses was the most difficult to tackle.  Although this was hard, we found one clear-cut strength of his - patience.  I must say that he is in fact a rather patient individual, with me and with others.  I want one of my strengths to be patience.  Let's work on it.

Of course, when I say let's work on it, I know that God is going to work on me.  I think He is right now, like He did this summer.  But right now, I feel the pressure.  Maybe pressure isn't the right word.  Maybe presence is better?  I don't know, but right now I feel Him at work.  

I am impatient.  Not all of the time, I hope not even most of the time, but at the moment I am.  I do not like this.  

God and I are going to work this out.  He will work in me, and I will work it out for Him and for His glory.

Let's go. 

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience."

Colossians 3:12

And you can't take credit for this.

I use two different Bibles with different translations and the one I use predominantly has probably been around for 6 or more years.  I fill my Bible with all kinds of things; sermon notes, pictures, ten dollar bills (only once actually, but it was exciting when I turned to Jeremiah 19 one day and found the forgotten cash).  I also write all over the inside of my Bible.  I used to highlight verses that seemed especially profound or important to me at that time, but I find highlighting slightly annoying now, so I mostly use pen to identify the things that are memorable to me - or I want to make memorable.  I love looking back on all the marks in my Bible and thinking about what was going on in my life at the time.  I think about why I needed to highlight those verses, why were they significant to me, things like that.  I commonly come across verses of a chapter or section that I may have highlighted or underlined but refrained from marking an adjacent piece.  A lot of the time it really confuses me.  I often ask myself why I did that and not this.  I think of who I am now, what events have taken place in my life, how I see the world and I think of who I was before - the person who previously wrote in my Bible.  I think it's fun; reflection can be fun.  We read from Ephesians 2 in church yesterday and I found myself thinking all of those things again.


I sat there staring at the open Bible in my lap thinking about who I am and who I've been.  


The sermon focused on verses 1-10 - Made Alive in Christ.  How beautiful is that? Being made alive in Christ, so awesome.  I love that idea and I love it even more when I read through those verses:  you were dead because of your sins (v.1), you followed the ways of this world (v.2), following the passions and desires of our evil nature (v.3), deserving of wrath (v.3).  I am all of those things - or I was.  I am not anymore, I have been made alive in Christ.  God, rich in mercy, expressed His great love for me - for us - made us alive with Christ.  I am not captive to those things that condemn me, the things that separate me from my beautiful Savior.  


And the part that made me think about my Bible and highlighters and pens lies enclosed in verses 8-10.  Whenever I highlighted that section (beyond my memory), I highlighted every word except "And you can't take credit for this".  I liked the idea that God saved me, the idea that it is a gift, that I am God's masterpiece, that He created me anew in Christ Jesus - all of it, I liked it, it stood out to me, it was important - but the idea of pride was somewhat troublesome for me.  Maybe I thought that pride wasn't an issue of mine (it was), maybe defeating pride scared me (it did), maybe I wanted to ignore it (I did)?  And although I believe that my struggle with pride has decreased, I would be lying if I told you that I do not battle with it from time to time.  Sometimes the idea of getting over myself and bowing down to The Great I Am seems difficult or unnecessary.  I remember in the months after my brother died I didn't do that; I didn't bow down.  I was never angry at God for what happened, but I did ignore God.  I knew that He loved me, saved me, that He is in control - I knew all of those things and more, but I didn't want to talk to Him.  I didn't want to break down and rely on the greatest comforter of them all.  I struggled with my pride.


But if my pride means preventing eternal communion with my Lord - I want to be totally rid of pride, I want Jesus.  Although I deal with pride, I am not a prisoner to it, I have been made alive in Christ.  

"Against whom have you raised your voice and lifted your eyes in pride? Against the Holy One of Israel!"

2 Kings 19: 22

A lot of things..

So just some things that I want to say..because I feel like a lot has happened this week...not necessarily super awesome things, but it's the little things, you know?

1. On Tuesday I realized that my phone wouldn't charge, so I called home and arranged to get a new one.  Fortunately, my family (-mom) were coming to the Vikings game on Sunday, so the transaction would work.  It just meant no phone for a few days, which wouldn't end my world - obviously - but I like to be in touch or have the option to at least.  Anyways..throughout the night I was thinking about what I could do.. And I must admit, I got pretty desperate, because I searched YouTube for "How-To" videos for fixing cell phone charging ports and what not.  I found a pretty exciting one...and really wanted to try it.  So, this is what I did:
a. Convinced Beth that I should cut her charger in half.
b. Cut Beth's charger in half.
c. Strip the red and black wires.
d. Carefully align the wires to the positive/negative sides of the battery and then place in the phone.
e. Plug into the wall.
f. Watch the magic happen.

It was so cool.  I felt so awesome after we figured out it worked.  And as an added bonus, it was a solid bonding session with one of my roommates, which is always valued.

2. I've been listening to a lot of Christmas music. Yes. I'm just going to say that I'm so happy that Frank Sinatra, Michael Buble, and Josh Groban gave Christmas musical a whirl.  Also, hearing an NSYNC Christmas song was nice.

3. Wednesday - This was probably the day that marked the downfall of my bio team's lab project or whatnot.  Hah. I can't say I'm surprised, it just has never really worked out for us in there, to no one's fault.  It's nearly over - yes.

3. My Honors seminar class is over. And that makes me super happy.

4. I really like OChem.

5. Thursday - Last week I took a Psych exam and did not do very well on it.  I didn't want to study any more, so I quit.  Consequently, I've decided that I need to do REP studies to get extra credit and so I followed up on an email I got responding to a previous REP survey that I had taken.  The questions on the survey were basically diagnosing me with OCD - this made me not want to do the lab follow-up because I don't really have a desire to be studied by people.  But, sometimes you make poor decisions (not studying) and you have to deal up with it.  So I go in to the study and they put this (EEG) cap on my head - terrible, just terrible.  It was stored in a bucket of "mostly water, baby shampoo, and other things".  Not a fan. And so I got water all over my face and my hair was crazy and there were marks all over my head and people looked at me funny when I got into the elevator.  Just a crazy bad experience - no more REP studies.

6. Friday - I had a lab meeting with one of the post-docs that I work with.  It was nice, we figured some things out, she understands my schedule, gave me some more things to figure out - overall pretty positive.  Then I went to find my mentor because I really need him to fill out a few papers for me.  After talking to him for a bit, he told me that I have permission to annoy him.  I like the sound of that.  I'm sure he'll regret it someday :)  Hopefully, I'll get those papers soon - or more annoyance will come his way.

I also went to Beth's choir concert.  Oh, and I had an Organic exam.  But, the concert was pretty nice, very eclectic.  And I'm pretty terrible at concerts, like I can't stop laughing or making silly comments. Also, Bekah and Eric (especially Eric, not so much Bekah) were enablers to this terrible behavior.  The last song was none other than "We Wish You a Merry Christmas", which involved figgy pudding.  This inspired Beth and I to make some chocolate pudding and watch Glee for a few hours.

7. Saturday - I worked on a fantastic video about autoclaving with a few classmates for our Honors project for bio lab.  This is definitely a must see for all amateur scientists :) We also went out to Bucca's for some great food with Bekah's parents.  It was fun and they sang to Bekah for her birthday next week - success.  Oh, and before that we went to the Holidazzle parade - SANTA!!!!!!

8. Sunday - Today was a good day.  I started it off pretty nice with Sunday School.  I really, really enjoy teaching them, playing with them, and just listening to what they have to tell me. So fun.  We practiced for the Christmas concert, which was pretty awesome.  My kids are Mary, Joseph, an angel, and some shepherds - I'm very excited for them.  Then church happened, which was great.  Today, they had baptisms, and when they do that at Hope they also join it with communion and worship; three great things all at once.  It was very cool to see these people publicly professing their faith - it made me cry.

Then Josh texted us and said he had free tickets to the Vikings game. What? So, Beth and I went. And I saw everyone, soo many people: my dad, Betsers, Josh, Billy, Daniel (high school friend) and his family, my cousin's husband, Rachel (camp friend), and my uncle too was there too although I didn't get to see him.  It was great.  I love my family so much, so an impromptu Sunday with them is always welcome.

And just a few hours ago, we got to watch Bekah's recital! It was very cool and so exciting for her.  Her parents flew in for the weekend, so she got to see them and hang out with them for awhile, which I think she needed.  And they got to see her perform.  Cool stuff.  I do like listening to Bekah play - it is something that I have such a hard time understanding, but I have so much respect for what she does.  I love seeing people do things that they are passionate about - Bekah is passionate about her music and it is a beautiful thing to get to witness a small part of that coming out in her performances.

A lot of words.