I have had a lot of time for reflection lately. Driving to and from North Dakota this past week gave me seven hours of alone time and being home also gave me a lot of time to think. And, I think I should probably mention that after making a conscious effort to talk less and listen more, I have had a lot of thoughts roaming around in my mind. Part of me just wants to just say every little thing that comes to mind, but by not doing that I think I have learned so much more and I am thankful for that. I am thankful that the Lord is speaking to me and I pray that He will continue to do so.
Anywho, back to the matter at hand. This little gem has been consuming me for the past twenty-some hours. I read this last night before going to bed and I had to read it through a few times to once again remember why grace is so beautiful, how big my sin is, and how loving my God is. From Oswald Chamber's My Utmost for His Highest:
The Bounty of the Destitute
"Being justified freely by His grace..."
Romans 3:24
The gospel of the grace of God awakens an intense longing in human souls and an equally intense resentment, because the revelation which it brings is not palatable. There is a certain pride in man that will give and give, but to come and accept is another thing. I will give myself in consecration, I will do anything, but do not humiliate me to the level of the most hell-deserving sinner and tell me that all I have to do is to accept the gift of salvation through Jesus Christ.
We have to realize that we cannot earn or win anything from God; we must either receive it as a gift or do without it. The greatest blessing spiritually is the knowledge that we are destitute; until we get there Our Lord is powerless. He can do nothing for us if we think we are sufficient of ourselves; we have to enter into His Kingdom through the door of destitution. As long as we are rich, possessed of anything in the way of pride or independence, God cannot do anything for us. It is only when we get hungry spiritually that we receive the Holy Spirit. The gift of the essential nature of God is made effectual in us by the Holy Spirit; He imparts to us the quickening life of Jesus, which puts "the beyond" within, and immediately "the beyond" has come within, it rises up to "the above" and we are lifted into the domain where Jesus lives (John 3:5).
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As I read this last night and now read through it again, I can't help but be struck by my own pride. Pride is an ugly, ugly thing and I know that it far too often prevents me from falling to my knees before the cross. How can that be? I am a sinner who needs a savior and I was given just that. I sometimes look at my life and the things that I have done and think that I'm not that bad, my sin is not that big. Maybe today I'm doing alright and I don't need Jesus? But, I would be a fool to claim such a thing. I need Jesus, every single day - I need Jesus. I need the gift of the cross; I need that beautiful sacrifice. And I hope that that is reality in your life as well. We are a sinful people, but we are also a people belonging to God, we are chosen (1 Peter 2:9).
I need to be humiliated by my sin so that I can realize that all I have to do is accept the free gift of salvation. I know that I am not enough to cover my sin debt and be presented whole before God. Fortunately, I have been shown love beyond comprehension and have been justified freely by His grace.
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