I think I am a pretty ambitious or driven person.
I like independence and having confidence in my abilities, I find comfort in knowing that something is in my control. But I've realized that all of those attributes can hold me back from living fully dependent on Christ, apart from fear and doubt. I don't think it's bad to have ambition or drive or to be able to do things for yourself, but I do think it is a great shame when those characteristics permeate through your entire being and put a barrier on your relationship with Christ.
The Lord is teaching me the sufficiency of Christ.
But at times I feel so stuck. Stuck in a place of wanting to live a fully surrendered lifestyle, but not doing it because I think I can do better than that. Or thinking that I must be able to do something.
Like my power is needed in every situation.
But it is not.
All I can do is bow down to the Almighty One.
Then His power takes over.
But it is not.
All I can do is bow down to the Almighty One.
Then His power takes over.
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"Remember, sinner, it is not thy hold of Christ that saves thee–it is Christ; it is not thy joy in Christ that saves thee–it is Christ; it is not even faith in Christ, though that is the instrument–it is Christ’s blood and merits; therefore, look not to thy hope, but to Christ, the source of thy hope; look not to thy faith, but to Christ, the author and finisher of thy faith; and if thou doest that, ten thousand devils cannot throw thee down…There is one thing which we all of us too much becloud in our preaching, though I believe we do it very unintentionally–namely, the great truth that it is not prayer, it is not faith, it is not our doings, it is not our feelings upon which we must rest, but upon Christ, and on Christ alone. We are apt to think that we are not in a right state, that we do not feel enough, instead of remembering that our business is not with self, but Christ. Let me beseech thee, look only to Christ; never expect delieverance from self, from ministers, or from any means of any kind apart from Christ; keep thine eye simply on Him; let his death, His agonies, His groans, His sufferings, His merits, His glories, His intercession, be fresh upon thy mind; when thou wakest in the morning look for Him; when thou liest down at night look for Him." (Charles Spurgeon - The Forgotten Spugeon, Iain Murray, 42.)
Well said! I struggle with this as well. Oh, the curses of being a scientist and a perfectionist. But on the days where you can connect with God and know that is enough. That, my friend, is a good day... =)
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