Expectations.

When I landed in Port-au-Prince in June, I had several expectations regarding my summer.

I expected to meet new people.

I expected the temperature to be insane.

I expected to learn and see and experience so many new things.

But, I didn't expect for my heart to break so badly for God's people.

I never could have imagined all that I was able to do in the clinic.  And what I learned about medicine and patient care is so much more than I have in all of my shadowing and volunteering.

I did not think I would leave with a renewed understanding of what is important in life.

I had no idea I would spend forty hours of my week doing something that never felt like work.

God was constantly working on my heart and mind.  He was reworking my ideas regarding everything - my life, dreams, future, relationships, family.  I prayed for Him to do a work in my life, but this was more than I ever imagined.

I didn't think it would hurt so much to board the plane to return to the States.

I didn't expect to fall in love with Haiti and its people.

And I didn't expect to lose myself and find myself at the same time.

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With this final post in my summer series, I would like to share that I will be taking a break from blogging for an indefinite amount of time.  

Thank you for reading.  

Goat.

Last night, I learned how to make bannann peze, which are twice fried plantains and super fun to make.

And this is my fearless teacher:

And this is the BEST meal that I've had in Haiti thus far.  I don't know all of the Haitian names, but we have bannann peze, mais moulin (corn meal type stuff) with a bean sauce (that is made with coconut milk) and GOAT in a Creole sauce.  

It was such a nice way to spend my last night - with good friends, fellowship, and food!

Goat:  

The above picture only exists because of the picture below.  It's one of my mom's favorite pictures of me and she wanted another picture with a goat.  I don't remember if she said a living goat or a dead goat...oh, well.

Alright friends, next time you will hear from me I'll be stateside.  

Influence.

Before I confirmed my plans to spend my summer in Haiti, I had many long and serious conversations with my parents about all of this.  It was very important to me that I had their blessing and that they understood why I was feeling led to serve in Haiti.  

Surprisingly, they weren't very shocked when I told them what I was thinking.  This wasn't the first conversation of this type that my parents had with one of their kids.  They've heard a few crazy things from us, such as "hey, I think I'm going to go to Thailand and do tsunami relief" to "hey, I think I want to join the Army".  My mom actually asked me when we were going to start being normal kids.  I couldn't answer the question.  

One of the first things my dad asked me was if my wanting to come here had anything to do with my brother Alex.  Before I could answer, he told me that it was okay and that he understood.  He knew.  

I am confident that God called me to come to Haiti this summer and I am so very thankful that He did.  But if I hadn't had Alex in my life, I don't think I would have had as much courage to ask God the big questions, to challenge myself to let Him control my life, and to trust Him through everything.  

I think Alex has always been the person in my life to challenge and encourage me to live life a little bolder and step out in faith a little bit more.  And even though he's not with me anymore, he's still that person.  It wasn't just the words that he spoke, but it was the way that he lived and the way that he made me feel.  

My brother inspires me to serve God with all that I have, to live outside of myself, and to love with abandon.  

So when I told my dad seven months ago that I thought I was going to spend my summer here, we both knew that my brother had a little bit of influence in my decisions.  And he always will.  

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"For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands, for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control." -2 Timothy 1:6-7

Apparent.

On Saturday, I went shopping in Port-au-Prince.  One of the places that we stopped at was called 'The Apparent Project'.  

Their mission:

"Through our artisans' program, educational programs, and relief work we are dedicated to:  Helping parents rise out of extreme poverty in order to keep their children, responding to Haiti's orphan crisis and the needs of parentless children, and making the needs of Haiti apparent to potential helpers through media & the arts."

Orphanages are great, but sometimes they only serve to create more orphans.  In Haiti, this is especially true, where most orphans are not 'true orphans' and could be cared for by their parents or extended family.  This organization is trying to combat the increasing number of orphans by helping parents and families work to provide for their children in order to keep families together.  And by providing for their children, parents have an increased sense of dignity and self-worth and the opportunity to escape extreme material poverty.  

All of the products are made in Haiti and a lot of it is made from recycled materials.  They make a lot of beads from old cereal boxes or cartons and also make products from clay or scrap metal.  Everything in the store is absolutely beautiful and a really cool way to support Haitian employees and the effort to keep families together.

Go check them out here!

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And for something that has nothing to do with The Apparent Project, but may interest you foodies out there. I had 'crêpe salée' for lunch, which translates to 'salty crepe'.  It's a crepe with ham, cheese, onions, and 'special sauces'...trying new food here has definitely been successful.

Mara.

One of the first patients that I saw at the beginning of the summer was a young pregnant woman named Elizabeth.  I quickly learned that she had congestive heart failure and a pregnancy meant incredible bodily stress to her and her baby.  With her condition, she was strongly encouraged not to get pregnant because it would be life-threatening for her and her child.  When I first saw her, she was seven months pregnant with her third pregnancy.  The other two pregnancies, however, were not successful and she lost both children before birth.  

When Elizabeth came in two weeks later, we were all surprised to see her with her healthy newborn, Mara.  The doctors induced labor several weeks before her due date to prevent compromising the life of the mother and child.

The fact that this child is alive is truly a miracle.  She's so small and delicate, but very strong and healthy.

I love it when God reminds us how precious life is and how amazing He is.  

Lasts.

I had the opportunity to go the beach today for the last time while in Haiti this summer.

It was wonderful.

I discovered my favorite Haitian beverage..

..enjoyed an American treat with a fellow American..

..went on a little boat ride..

..drank from a coconut..

..and hung out with some great friends!

As my summer is wrapping up, I'm experiencing quite a few 'lasts' while here in Haiti.  I went to my last Haitian church service this morning and went to the beach for the last time this afternoon.  Tomorrow starts my last week in the clinic, where I will work with the doctors, nurses, and patients for the last time this summer.  I'll attend my last physicians' conference and make my final visit to a Haitian market.  I'll experience my last Haitian sunrise, sunset, and starry night sky; I'll be eating my last Haitian meal and 'speaking' my last bit of Creole.  And I'll have to say my last goodbyes.

I don't think I'm ready for any of these 'lasts'.

Krapo.

Shortly after arriving here, I learned that Haitians HATE frogs - or krapo.  It's a really passionate and fearful type of hatred.  And they are way more afraid of frogs than tarantulas or boas or other things that may commonly crawl around here.  I'm not entirely sure why, but I do know that they believe some sickness or something will occur if they touch a frog.

Well, I had a frog in my room this morning.  The little guy jumped on my leg while I was washing my hands, terrified me, and then hopped all over my room.  Now, I have an old Haitian lady cleaning my room everyday and I was fearful that she would have a heart attack if she came across the krapo.  

So, I ran and screamed and yelled at a frog for twenty minutes this morning (go ahead, picture it).  And then finally caught him in a trash can after earnestly trying to scare him out with water and loud noises and my voice.  Lastly, I had to gently encourage him to return back into the wild.  He was a stubborn little one I assure you. 

Good morning from Haiti.